The Vampire Diaries: “A Bird in a Gilded Cage”

Well this week’s episode was certainly full of surprises. Stefan cut Caroline’s director’s head off. Sarah found out her last name was Salvatore. Bonnie stabbed Kai a bunch of times and left him in a prison world. Oh, and the cure is back.

Plenty of drama this time around. Kai is still trying to get into Bonnie’s good graces, and with that scruff and puppy-dog eyes, I’m not sure how she resists him. But looks like the best way to do it is to accompany Damon, Elena, and Bonnie back to 1903 to rescue Damon’s mother, the Ripper. Why? Because she may just be Stefan’s emotional trigger… and he’s definitely Caroline’s.

Meanwhile, emotionless Caroline and Stefan are wrecking havoc, though mostly on each other. Stefan wants revenge for Caroline turning his emotions off, and Caroline wants a nice simple life as a drama major. Obviously those two objectives don’t exactly line up. Their entire confrontation basically takes place in the Whitmore Dorm common room (the most ridiculously unrealistic common room ever), and there’s a lot of throwing of sharp sticks. It’s pretty cool.

Meanwhile, Delena is once again back in a prison world together, and Elena is being her annoyingly cheery self as Damon is his pouty “I trust nobody” self. When they run into Mama Salvatore, the snark is on full force, which is always fun. Meanwhile Bonnie and Kai are looking for the ascendant, which really means Kai being adorable and apologetic and Bonnie leading him out to the middle of nowhere before she stabs him a bunch of times. Damn, girl. There’s a character transformation if I’ve ever seen one.

Alaric takes a break from thinking of baby names to go hunting with Enzo, trying to find their two favorite serial-killing blondes. It doesn’t go so well, since as soon as they enter the dorm they’re taken out by one of Stefan’s random quickly constructed bombs. Stefan is all “let’s kill people!” but Caroline stops him, thankfully (or at least for Alaric, I still wouldn’t mind seeing Enzo go). So in return Stefan goes into a girl’s room and starts eating her, simueltaneously offering her up to Caroline. The girl may be good at control, but not that good. They drain the human of her blood and of course then they start making out while running around the room, vampire-style.

Damon and Elena, meanwhile, have a surprise when Lilly (Mrs. Salvatore) brings them upstairs to find a bunch of dried-out vampires. She pronounces them her family and says that she won’t leave them, which Damon doesn’t take well. “These freaks may be your family,” he pronounces, “but Stefan Salvatore is mine.” Cue the awwwwws and the squeals (or was that just me?) When they get back Lilly tries to explain herself, how as an early vampire all she could see when she looked at her kids were bloodbags. She left to protect them, of course. Damon’s not all forthright on the forgiveness though, though Elena tries to cheerily talk him into it. He tells her she’s lucky she’s adorable, and then they start making out on the bar, which Bonnie awkwardly interrupts. Oh well, no hot vampire sex for them. Stefan and Caroline kind of took that spot anyhow.

Bonnie has another surprise for Damon, which she drops when Elena leaves the room. She got the cure. There it is again, in that tiny little bottle, a way for Elena or Stefan or Damon himself to return to humanity. And right when Damon was looking forward to forever with his hot girlfriend.

So. Kai is once again stuck in a prison world. Bonnie is a badass. Alaric has been ordered to act like a normal human while he raises his kid. Enzo “accidentally” let slip Sarah’s last name. And the cure is back, along with Damon’s mother and hopefully their chance to bring Stefan in Caroline back to sanity.

Damn that’s a lot of drama.

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