Tonight’s episode of The Vampire Diaries was chock-full of shockers and bloody messes. It started and finished with broody Stefan, which at any other point would bother me, but this time his story arced perfectly. First we see him with Ivy, the bitchiest new vampire I’ve seen in a while. It’s unsurprising that he wants to drop her off at Caroline’s and make a break for it. The scene gave us Caroline in a towel, more arguing, and plenty of eye-sex, so yeah, that’s gonna happen.
Alaric is actually teaching this time, though he does seem to be talking solely to Happy Elena with lessons like “don’t fall in love with your brother’s girl.”
Cue another party, and everyone’s either there, thinking about being there, or crashing a truck through there. That would be Tyler. At some point
storylines converged, since Ivy escaped by breaking Caroline’s neck (did I mention that I hate her?), then fed on a boy, who ended up in front of Tyler’s car. Now chaos ensues as everyone in the cornfield lies bloody. Alaric’s craving, Elena is realizing that being a doctor actually requires medical skills, and Tyler is freaking out about triggering his curse.
Perfect time to return to Bonnie and Damon. A few more arguments and quips from Kai, and suddenly Bonnie’s sent a spear through the serial-killer’s chest. Turns out they don’t need him for the spell.
Was anyone surprised by how easily Bonnie killed a guy?
Time for our next shocker, when Liv finds Tyler by his wrecked car and tries to help him save the poor kid he hit. But one call from Alaric’s pretty doctor friend and they know they’re screwed. So what does Liv do? She smothers him to death, therefore saving Tyler from the curse. She and her stupid perfect hair win MVP of the night. Maybe these twins are growing on me, after all.
Next one comes with Alaric and Jo, his lady friend, as they talk in the hospital. She likes him, he likes her – but is afraid he’ll eat her – so the obvious thing to do is compel her to dislike him. Unfortunately, that attempt is thwarted when Ric’s super-compulsion doesn’t work and Jo responds to his “you don’t want to kiss me” by laying one on him. So why didn’t the compulsion work?
Final shocker of the night- Kai is not so dead from axe-in-the-chest. He shows up while Bonnie and Damon are trying to get the Hell out of Hell, and ends up sending in arrow right into Bonnie. In a beautiful show of friendship, Damon goes to her instead of the portal thingy, but in the end she chooses to send him back and stall Kai. With one impressive throw the portal is in Damon’s hands, and with a “no, Bonnie!” he’s transported.
Meanwhile Caroline and Stefan have another fight, and as blondie goes looking for Ivy, the poor new annoying vampire runs into Scary Hunter Guy instead. Can’t say I’ll mourn her loss all that much.
Of course the rest of the episode pales in comparison to the end, where we see Stefan in his family tomb, drinking and bemoaning his inability to move on. He tries to take his anger out on the wall, Typical Salvatore style, by throwing his drink. But in a gasp-worthy entrance, Damon catches the drink, chiding his brother for trying to waste it. Cue gasps. Cue “are you real?” Cue adorable moment as Stefan clings to his older brother and Damon reassures him, over and over, “I’m back, brother. I’m back.”