Disney Channel Revisited

Your Favorite Month of Disney Channel:

Why Disney’s Month of Halloween Programming is Still Amazing

It’s October, guys. Do you know what that means? It means cavorting in a town made up entirely of Halloween creatures while trying to figure out your family’s true history. It means a skeleton ruining saving Christmas. It means a little kid  bonding with a family of vampires when he feels most alone. It means twin witches discovering their powers and each other, #sentimentality. It means the Sanderson Sisters rising from their graves and wreaking havoc upon the children of Salem all because some virgin lit a candle to impress a pretty (and probably non-virgin) girl.

Get psyched for Halloween with Disney's spooky hits.

Get psyched for Halloween with Disney’s spooky hits.

Disney’s Halloween programming is my favorite holiday-based/time of year marathon because of its levity, simplicity, and overall fun. Every year since I can remember, my sister, mother, and I have marathoned the Halloweentown movies. Even at age 19, I revel in the excitement Marnie gets when she figures out she’s weird in a really unique and good way. I laugh when I see the creatures in Halloweentown walking around, free from judgment to be themselves and reclaiming their individuality. In the sequel, I always get a kick out of Gort and his home where all the lost stuff goes (i.e. everyone’s iPhone charger). Now, a sophomore in college, my friends and I debate how the entire movie is code for comparing colleges. Marnie is really representative for Northwestern (she’s kind of awesome and smart, but totally weird) while her brother Dylan represents UChicago (he hates fun and is annoyingly intelligent). Debbie Reynolds plays the effervescent Aggie Cromwell, and you cannot deny that she is a goddamn delight, despite the fact she’s downgraded from Singing in the Rain to DCOMS*.

Hocus Pocus is clear-cut case of a movie that gets better as it ages (and as you age). You begin to appreciate the movie for it’s stellar cast. Never again will a trinity of such unique talents like Kathy Najimy, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Bette Midler** exist. Never again will such an oddly assembled cast make such a fantastic comedy. As you get older, the sexual innuendo becomes part of your vocabulary and jokes you found confusing when you were younger are now hilarious. The fact that Disney allowed a movie on its channel that referred to the idea of a “virgin” baffles you.

Now, I realize some of these movies are difficult to watch as you get older. Twitches is kind of unbearable now, save for the incredibly duo that is Tia and Tamara Mowry. The Little Vampire‘s Jonathan Lipnicki is preserved there in his most pure and adorable form. However, that aspect of the film was ruined for me when a friend sent me the following picture of modern day Lipnicki.

Ladies… do with that what you will.

Ladies… do with that what you will.

 So next time you decide to watch a movie this Halloween season, don’t pop in The Sixth Sense. Just sit back, relax, and let this nostalgic marathon wash over you.

*DCOMS = Disney Channel Original Movies

**Queen of all ‘dem Bitches Witches.

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